


Irony and Frustration

by geniewithwifi



Series: Hero Quintessence [7]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 5x01, 5x01 Legacy, Angst, Episode s05e01, F/M, Frustration, Gen, Thought Exercise, legacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8223833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniewithwifi/pseuds/geniewithwifi
Summary: Oliver is frustrated... with everything. He thought that they would come back, if given time. They didn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 5x01

He’s frustrated. That’s all he can think about.

It’s been five months and nothing has returned. He let his team go, her let Felicity because he thought, with enough time, that they would come back. That they would seek him out again.

Five months and nothing has changed.

Thea is adamant that she will not be a vigilante again. She likes having a normal life. And truth is, Oliver did too, back in Ivy Town. He understands where she’s coming from, how the need for _normal_ outweighs any type of vigilantism. But he misses her. They had a thing going, brother and sister act, siblings hitting the streets, making the city better again.

Thea is moving forward, away from him.

Diggle is on a totally different continent and it’s strange that the steadiness of John Diggle is absent. There is no sound of gun cocking in preparation of battle. There is no back up. Oliver has lasted the last four years only because of Dig, and the one time John needed him the most, to pull him back from the brink like Diggle and had done for him so often, he faltered. John fell into the pit and Oliver can’t help him.

Diggle is moving forward, away from him.

And Felicity. God, Felicity. It’s torture, being around her constantly there, but not. They share the same breathing space but he can’t cross that invisible boundary to surge his lips against hers, or to run a hand over her back. She’s right there, but the furthest they have ever been, even from the beginning.

Felicity is moving forward, away from him.

And so he’s frustrated. Not finding the way forward, in the direction of those he loves. SO he retreats, goes back to the ways that he knows.

Survive. Kill. Defeat the enemy at all costs.

That is what he learned on the island and it kept him alive. He’s alone now, only himself to depend on out in the field. His instincts take over. Oliver stops living for the dead, doing what the dead want him to do. They’re _gone._ It doesn’t matter what they want, they have no say in his life anymore. The dead don’t know what’s going on, they don’t know the choices Oliver will have to make. The ghosts will haunt, but only the footsteps. Always behind.

So Oliver moves. He keeps swimming. A shark that does not swim drowns.

But no one said that he had to swim forward.

So he fights. He lets his frustration out, in every word. To the public, his harsh candor hurting his public image, his bite whipping into Lance’s fragile state.

He’s stopped caring whether he makes it through anymore, hope a small flicker barely there. Baiting the criminals is easy, a morbid sense of humor, ironic.

It’s ironic that with everything he tried to save, his sister, Diggle, his relationship with Felicity, his city, he failed.

But he can always save himself.


End file.
